


Say You Were Wrong, Tell Me You Want Me

by TotosFlowers



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Athletes, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Break Up, Cute Okumura Eiji, Drama, Fights, Gangs, M/M, Pining Ash Lynx, Protective Ash Lynx, Underage Drinking, drunk eiji, sad boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2019-10-30 19:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17834759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotosFlowers/pseuds/TotosFlowers
Summary: The schools most popular couple, gang leader Ash Lynx and athlete Eiji Okumura get in a fight, and break up.The gossipers are going wild, meanwhile everyone else tries to win over the cute Japanese now that he's available.While the Lynx himself has a few that want to get with him too, there's no denying that all the people asking his former boyfriend out doesn't tick him off, especially when a few get too close.Maybe he isn't as ready to let go of the cute Japanese boy as he thought, but how can he get Eiji back? Does Eiji even want him back?





	1. Prolouge

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo this was supposed to be a one shot and one chapter, but I got big plans soooooo yeah it'll probably have around 3 chapters maybe? Idk 
> 
> Also be aware that perspectives will be changing later on-ish but yeeEE Im excited to write this so i hope it goes well lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be just one chapter but I have BIG plans and not enough time, so idk how often I'll be able to post or how long chapters will be, but we'll see, I hope I wrote this ok, and I hope you enjoy :)

 

 

* * *

 

 

There's no denying it, both Ash and Eiji were seen as pretty boys by the school. Boys and girls alike wanted to get with them. 

Eiji was a star athlete, ranking highest in the school. He did cross country and track, but was famously known for being the best pole vaulter. Being this athletic gave him a slim yet muscular body. The kind that wasn't too buff, but just perfect for his toned, sculpted arms to be seen and his embraces to feel secured. His dark eyes intrigued many, yet most couldn't get close enough to find out more of them.  Not only that, but Eiji was very kind and friendly with everyone, making everyone fall for him easily with his welcoming persona, however he could also be very stubborn.

Ash was almost the complete opposite with his fair skin and blonde hair. Although his jade eyes could make a grown man freeze, they could also make anyone who looks at them for too long fall for him. He was tall and slender, long arms and legs. Not only was his physic flawless, but he was also a genius. He had the highest IQ in the school and it showed. There were even rumors that he had skipped a grade or two, but those weren't certain and he never talked about his age. The only thing that made some people rethink how close they wanted to get with him was the fact that he was in a gang. Not only that, but he was the leader of said gang. Many think that its because of that that he has a cold persona, but others think he's naturally like that.

He was powerful, beautiful, mysterious, and feared. Almost the polar opposite of Eiji, which is why their relationship had thrown everyone for a loop. 

No one had seen it coming. The feared and dangerous Ash Lynx kissing the cute jock Eiji Okumura. Holding hands with him as the went to their classes. Actually laughing and smiling with him as they went to their classes, and making out with him in places they thought others wouldn't see. 

Sure, they talked a bit during sophomore year, but that's because Eiji talked to basically everyone. However, coming back from summer break, going into junior year the two were inseparable. It's a wonder why no one saw it coming before hand.

There were many rumors on why this was. Some of the more popular ones were that one, Eiji had some his gotten tied up in Ash's gang and some weird chemistry happened there, two Ash threatened Eiji into dating him, or forcing him, (although seeing the way they act around each other DEFINITELY shows no way of acting) and third, Ash had simply asked him out and Eiji simply said yes. 

Although none of these had been confirmed and no one was even sure of which one could be the right reason, it was clear that their love was true. They weren't the kind to make PDA a big thing, as a matter of fact they only showed a lot of affection between them when they were alone and no one was watching. At least when they  _thought_ no one was watching. it was quite a sight to see, watching how weak Ash was to Eiji's fingers going through his hair and scratching his scalp, how Eiji looked at Ash like he was the world and sun and universe. Sometimes it's as if they were the only ones in the world. Seeing that amount of love between anybody was a bit crazy, but just the fact that it was two high school boys, one Ash Lynx and the other Eiji Okumura, made it all the crazier.

The day the world found out, is still engraved in everyone's minds. How could it not? Two of the most popular guys at school, an item!?!?? 

It all started with the nurses office, and the high school cheerleaders because, where else would it start?

 

* * *

 

" _Omg did you see what I saw-"_

_"Yeah I totally did, I can"t believe this-"_

_"I never saw it coming-"_

_"They were totally into each other-"_

_"Who would have thought-"_

 

The excited whispers of the cheerleaders were the only noise in the gymnasium.

Walking down to the gym after school for practice was usual for them. Usually they'd be gossiping on their way but today they were quiet. Nothing interesting was going on at school. There was no gossip or rumors to talk about. It was almost too normal... so much so that they suspected something must be going, but they didn't know what yet. 

That was made clear when one of the cheerleaders had heard voices from the nurses office on their way down to the gymnasium. They had all stood silently, as they signaled for one to take a peek, since they were all nosy. However, when she had quietly she had peeked through the small window on the door, she had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming, because she couldn't believe what she saw. This caused for all the other girls to come running to the window to see for themselves, and they all bit their tongue, because inside, was none other than Eiji Okumura and Ash Lynx.

Eiji was sitting on one of the counters, Ash between his legs standing, both in a tongue deep kiss. While Eiji's hands were busy messing Ash's hair up, one of Ash's hands was on Eiji's waist and the other on his neck. Both were too busy lost in themselves to notice the cheerleaders. The girls left but as soon as they entered the gym, all hell broke loose. Texts were sent, posts were made, and none of them could stop rambling.

Even if someone didn't see it all over social media, everyone found out one way or another the next day when Eiji arrived to school, as usual on Ash's motorcycle, then gave Ash a big kiss on the lips before Ash could even get off the bike. Not only that, it was a bit hard to not notice how Ash and Eiji looked like they were up in the clouds all day. Or how much closer they seemed, and definitely hard to not notice when they would hold hands and actually kiss whenever the pleased. 

They really were a couple, and boy did they look in love. They were everybody's relationship goals, everyone wanted be them, or have something like they did. Not only that, but they were everyone's favorite couple. They just seemed to click. They were like a puzzle, complete together. The way they interacted was sweet and hot, all depending on the moods they were in.

They were perfect for each other.

They were the definition of love.

Which is why everyone was shocked to the core, the day they broke up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	2. Right Place, Wrong Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp I'm trying to update more but that would cause for shorter chapters, but if I make longer chapters, I'd post less often, you guys have a preference to what you guys want? 
> 
> Also this is a bit more of Ash's and Eiji's perspectives
> 
> So sorry for taking so long to update, I've been drowning in school work :(

* * *

 

[Right place, wrong time](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7eg_pNrxv28)

 

* * *

 

 

Ash loved Eiji.

Heck everyone did, but he was lucky enough to get loved back the same way.

That day in the infirmary was unexpected. They had both kind of liked each other, but they always danced around it, never really confessing to one another. That was until Eiji had gotten hurt while they had been out in the field, and Ash being the over protective and silly person he was, quickly took him to the nurses office, even if it was just a bruise. Then he had lifted Eiji up onto the counter to better inspect the affected knee.

Eiji had giggled at Ash's whole scene. They both were playing around with each other, and they knew, but it was funner this way. Once Ash had finished kissing the small bruise, he looked up to find that their faces were extremely close, noses almost touching. No words were said, but both leaned in and met halfway. After pressing their lips together for a few seconds, they wasted no time. Ash licked Eiji's lower lip and Eiji easily opened up his mouth more. It was their first kiss, but they both already knew what to do. 

A little bit after that they had left the school, hand in hand, being careful so that no one saw them because they didn't want people to know just yet. However, getting to Ash's backyard, they were bombarded with texts asking if they were dating,  _so much for wanting to keep it low._

That day they had stayed in Ash's backyard till dark, getting to know each other with what they do and don't like. In just one night they were already drunk on the feeling of love and couldn't stay away. Ash had asked if he wanted to stay over, but no one knew they were dating. Eiji's parents would question it and so would Ash's adoptive parents. Eiji did however, decide to stay a while longer with Ash, in his arms hidden from sight behind the tree by the pond. They had been enjoying lazy kisses until light shined on them as Ash's backdoor opened. They had both quickly jumped away from each other trying to hide..

Then Max's confused voice rang out. "Ash?" 

Ash had mumbled a  _shit_ as he stood up without a choice. He scratched his neck as hey responded with a nervous, "hi.." Eiji meanwhile had tried to crawl away, until Max's confused voice rang out again, this time even more confused. " _Eiji?!"_ At this point both boys had been caught red handed. 

One thing led to another, and soon enough everyone knew they were dating. 

Ash's adoptive parents, Max and Jessica were happy for Ash. Max was ecstatic, glad that Ash had, " _finally made a move."_ Micheal was thrilled to know that the Eiji that visited their house so often was going to become his brother-in law. 

Eiji's parents were accepting, and were happy for Eiji, especially seeing how happy Ash made him.

The school soon enough got used to Ash and Eiji together, and all was great in the paradise of being young teens in love, until it wasn't.

Ash loved Eiji.

He  _really_ did. Eiji was all of Ash's world, his light in the darkness. But that darkness was getting too close. He knew it was only a matter of time before it reached Eiji too, and he couldn't allow that.

He knew what he needed to do, but he was going to hate himself for it. 

And so was Eiji. 

 

* * *

 

 

As Ash walked out of the his calculus class, he met up with Eiji, but it felt wrong to give Eiji their usual big kiss on the lips, (even as he himself smiled into it) knowing what he was about to do to Eiji. But he also knew he had no choice.

Golzine was playing dirtier, and Ash knew he had to get messy to get him away, or gone for good. While Eiji was not new to this scenario, Ash knew that this time, he  _could not_ risk Eiji's life. He didn't deserve to lose his life over something that shouldn't have been his problem in the first place. 

As they walked hand in hand to collect their stuff at Eiji's locker for the end of the day, Eiji just seemed so happy and content with the world, Ash hated himself.

Suddenly Eiji turned to him. "Ash is... something wrong? You're looking kind of sad and, you've been staring at me."

Ash sighed, he knew there was no way around it. "Eiji look, we need to talk."

Eiji's concerned look dropped to something more surprised and afraid. "O-ok,"

Ash held Eiji's hands as he looked right into those big beautiful brown eyes he loved to drown in, but now he only saw fear in them. 

"Eiji, I love you, so much," Eiji smiled. "But..." Now his smile faltered. "We-we cant be with each other, not anymore,"

Eiji dropped their hands, and it hurt him. "You-you're kidding r-right?" Ash couldn't stand to look at his face so he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "Please...tell me your kidding, this isn't funny Aslan." Eiji sounded like he was on the verge of sobs, an Ash felt as if he had gotten stabbed when Eiji called him by his real name. He only did that on special occasions. "After all we went through, after, after  _that?_ _"_

Ash opened his eyes to face a tearing up Eiji. 

_Goodness what am I doing?_

"Listen Eiji, things are about to get real messy, and, I can't risk you getting hurt. When we met, it, it was the right place, wrong time. Please Eiji...understand."

Eiji didn't understand. They had so many promises, so much trust, nothing had been wrong in their relationship so why? Did Ash not trust him? 

Eiji was crying now. He couldn't help it. 

"You promised forever Ash, we  _both_ did!" 

"Eiji..."

"Do you not trust me? Am I not good enough? I-I don't understand, I love you Ash, please,"

Ash was crying too now, his heart was breaking, and he knew Eiji's was too. 

_It's all my fault._

Ash didn't say anything, but that was answer enough for Eiji. 

Eiji grabbed his stuff from his locker and slammed it shut. A lot of attention was already on them, but this caused for everyone's attention to be steered towards them. News of their breakup was already spreading like wildfire through the school. After 5 moths of dating and what seemed like the perfect relationship, they broke up? Just like that?

Neither of them could bear to look at each other, so Eiji looked down as tears dripped down his face as he quietly said, "If you never trusted me enough from the beginning, why would you play with me for so long?" Eiji's voice had been quivering, but it broke at the end, and then he ran from the school, leaving Ash broken with silent tears running down his face. 

Eiji decided to just run home. He didn't need to get a ride from _stupid_ Ash on his _stupid_ motorcycle. 

He could barely see where he was going because tears blocked his vision as they came harder now.

 

 

 

_You promised me forever Ash._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sofndksbftnckd
> 
> Its short I know Im sorry '^'  
> But next chapter, we see how they deal with it and how everyone else reacts to it.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading sweets :)


	3. I Get Along Without You Very Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eiji tries to get along without Ash, and Ash is already regretting what he's done, meanwhile others have their eyes set already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof this chapter is longer....I think 
> 
> Also ive added the songs the chapters are named after, so you should listen to them and the lyrics cuase it was loosely based of them so yeah ^^

* * *

 

[I Get Along Without You Very Well](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IgbPHTBiAVQ)

 

* * *

 

 

 

Eiji had cried all throughout the night of the day that Ash had broken up with him.

He hated it. He hated crying over the fact that just because he was dumped he was crying his eyes and heart out. It made Eiji feel as if he was a weakling without Ash,  _but he wasn't._ Which is why at 4 AM, he decided on something.

He would prove he's strong, and that he doesn't need Ash to be happy or anything for that matter. 

Sure, he  ~~loves~~  loved Ash, but it was clear Ash didn't feel the same, or he just didn't think Eiji was enough. It was as if Ash thought Eiji didn't know what he was getting himself into when he had kissed happily that day in the nurses office, and when he had  _literally cried_ tears of joy when Ash had  _finally_ and  _officially_ asked him to be his boyfriend.

_Boyfriend._

That's right. Eiji no longer had one. 

He curled into himself as another sob escaped his mouth and more tears stained his face. The thoughts of Ash that came rushing into his head weren't helping either. He thought of the times they would play with Michael, Ash's little brother who Eiji just adored, and times when Ash would sneak into his room late at night, and they'd spend the night together, enjoying sleeping in their arms and giving sweet kisses to each other, just for Ash to leave in the morning before either of their parents found out where Ash was. Thinking about it now made his bed feel ten times colder and bigger. He missed A-

_No I don't._

_I won't._

With that determination, Eiji slept with the two hours of sleep he had left.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Eiji was tired that morning, but he had to go to school. He had a point to prove. His family gave him weird looks as he took the bus to school, rather than waiting for Ash to pick him up in his motorcycle, like he usually would, but didn't ask, which Eiji was thankful for. His parents didn't know of the breakup. 

He walked into school with his usual smile and kind greetings, but the truth was he was scared. Whats if he saw Ash and he didn't know how to react? Would Ash be different? Would he already have another boyfriend or girlfriend? Is he even at school today? 

When Eiji got to his locker and opened it, three pieces of paper fluttered down. Eiji reached down and picked them up. To his surprise, they were love letters. Two from girls and one from a boy. Eiji's cheeks reddened at the thought of people liking him, but he had no interest in dating anyone the moment, so he didn't even bother to read them and just put them in his bag, got his stuff and walked to his first class. 

 

-

 

Eiji had managed to avoid Ash throughout the whole day, taking different routes to classes and going to the cafeteria for lunch, knowing Ash would be in the library. However, it couldn't be helped for long. Their last classes' locations required them to have to cross at one point. Eiji was not ready.

Eiji made his way through the crowd when he saw it. 

The golden hair in front of him, and when his eyes traveled down, they met jade eyes. After a few seconds of staring, he noticed that they were just awkwardly standing in the middle of the hallway staring at each other. Eiji looked down and walked past Ash without saying a word, and he didn't look back to see his reaction. It hurt to do, but if he was going to get over Ash, he would need to do this.

_But what if I don't want to get over him? I...I still love him._

Eiji ducked his head more down and rushed to the crowd faster, hoping the tears gathering in his eyes wouldn't spill. Collecting his athletic clothes, he made his way to the field. 

Once he was in the field with his sports gear on, he practiced harder than he ever had before. He was frustrated and tried to get it all out through pole vaulting. This however only caused for a terrible practice. He was going to fast and doing it too sloppy, so he'd crash and fall more than usual. After only an hour of practice, he landed bad and hurt his ankle. It wasn't broken or sprained, but it did hurt and probably needed ice. This only caused Eiji to be more upset and frustrated and so he left early.

After changing back to his normal clothes, he headed down to the nurses office to get ice for his ankle. It wasn't until he was inside that he realized.

This is where he and Ash shared their first kiss.

Eiji couldn't help the heaving of his chest as a sob escaped and tears overflowed his eyes. 

_Hadn't he cried enough tears already?_

He curled into himself as he let the sobs out. No one was here to hear him anyway right? 

 

He was wrong.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Ash punched his locker. 

"Dude chill out," Shorter said as he put his hands up in mock surrender.

Ash swiftly turned around to face him. "'Chill out?' How? You know Sing said he had seen two people already put notes in Eiji's locker? Two! You hear that Shorter? Two!"

"I don't see why this has you so upset! Aren't you the one that broke up with him in the first place?" Ash froze at Shorter's words. "I honestly don't see why, you guys were doing fine, and Eiji had accepted you with all your faults. He loved you Ash. I'm pretty sure he still does."

Ash frowned. "It was only a matter of time before Golzine got Eiji or me, and I couldn't risk Eiji getting hurt, or worse."

"Sounds to me like you pushed Eiji away before you even knew what would happen. I think you're just scared of having something good in your life for once, but its ok to have that Ash."

Ash looked up at Shorter startled. Could he be right? Maybe he was just scared, and pushed Eiji away for no reason. It did seem like that...but no. He did know Golzine was plotting something concerning Eiji, but if Eiji wasn't in the picture anymore, there'd be no need right? So yeah, Ash was doing something to help him. Golzine would soon realize-

"Ok Ash, lets just go to the library, I can see you over thinking it. Just, give it time yeah?"

Ash only nodded as they headed to the library for lunch. 

 

-

 

After school, Ash went to go see Eiji practice. He knows he shouldn't have, especially seeing as Eiji looked to be getting along just fine without him. In the hallway, Eiji only seemed to be surprised to see him, but then quickly went away.

Ash didn't know what he expected. For Eiji to go running into his arms when he was the one that had harshly dumped Eiji? 

_Maybe I did something right after all._

Either way, seeing Eiji practice was painful.

Eiji looked frustrated and angry, a rare emotion Ash had hardly seen on Eiji. He kept stumbling, falling and crashing. After one bad fall, Eiji looked like he was in a lot of pain, and Ash was real close to running out into the field to pick Eiji up and rush him into the hospital, but he couldn't. Eiji didn't even know he was there watching. He wasn't  _supposed_ to be there watching. Helplessly, he had to watch his ex lover semi-limp back inside. 

Ash stayed outside after Eiji went in. He thought about Eiji. 

He still loves Eiji. He's pretty sure he always will. After all, he had promised forever. 

That's when Ash decided that he would go see Eiji, and try to apologize. If he was lucky, they could maybe agree to get back together after the Golzine fiasco was over. After checking the locker rooms to find them empty, he figured Eiji would have gone to get ice or something.

He had expected to see Eiji in the nurses office. 

What he hadn't expected, was to see Eiji standing against the cabinet with Arthur looming over him, cupping Eiji's cheek with one hand and pinning Eiji's other against the cabinet. 

Ash froze as his heart cracked.

Eiji couldn't be...not with Arthur....they weren't.....it couldn't be.

That's when Ash looked to Eiji's face to see the extreme discomfort he was in.

Now Ash's blood boiled with rage.

 

 

 

_Arthur was way too fucking close._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this story even good?


	4. I Don't Want Another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your super sweet comments had made my crappy day and nervous self super happy the other day, thank you so much you guys are too sweet I dont deserve you!! ^U^ 
> 
> Thank you bunches for reading^^ :3
> 
> I'm also super sorry for the late update, I've been very busy, and I will be out for next week, so I am not sure of when I will be able to post again, I'm sorry! 
> 
> But this chapter is long! :D

* * *

 

 

 

"Now, now, what wrong little kitty?"

Eiji quickly turned around and tried to dry his tears, scared. Someone was there after all, but who? 

_I did not hear anyone enter at all!_

Eiji stilled as his eyes widened at taking in who had entered in. It was Arthur. Ash and him had had a rivalry going on for a while now. Eiji was unsure of why they were fighting exactly, but it had to do with the gangs they were in and the power over them. Eiji only knew that much, since Ash liked to keep that kind of stuff to himself, no matter how many times Eiji would tell him to trust him. It was hard to comfort Ash when Eiji wasn't even entirely sure of what was happening.

A hand on his cheek and shoulder, pushing him back into the cabinet got him out of his Ash daze. 

"Come on little kitten...you can talk to me," Arthur's voice was low and it sent shivers up Eiji's back, in all the wrong ways. It felt like a threat, and Ash always warned him about Arthur, but Ash was always there to stop him from getting too close to Eiji, but now that Ash wasn't here, no one was stopping Arthur. Eiji knew he should do something to stop him, but he was too afraid. 

Arthur was another feared guy at school, and the scarred hand on Eiji's shoulder moving down to pin his own hand against the cabinet did nothing to ease his fear. 

"Keeping quiet I see..." He moved Eiji's head upward to face him better, as Arthur's own face got uncomfortably closer, an evil grin on his face, but just a quick glance at Eiji's neck was all it took for his grin to turn into a frown. 

"Still got the Lynx's print on you huh," Arthur sounded annoyed, and Eiji was unsure of what he was talking about until he realized.

_Oh, one of Ash's love marks must still be on my neck. After all we did only break up yesterday..._

Eiji couldn't help the blush that came at his cheeks at the mention of the hickey on his neck. Ash always did love leaving them everywhere, making sure he always had at least one on him, and Eiji couldn't help to complain. Except for when he got strange glances and disapproving looks from his parents, but even so, it was a small price to pay to see Ash's proud face, and all the sweet things Ash would tell him as he gave them to him. 

Eiji's heart warmed at the thought, and he wanted Ash at the moment. The one on his neck was the last one he had, and even so it was already fading. Eiji hated the fact that he wanted a new one. He hated the fact that he wished it was Ash pinning him against the cabinet, not Ar-

_Oh, that's right,_

How could have Eiji forgotten what was going on at the moment?

"You must hate Ash now huh. Well, I can tell you how to get even." Arthur whispered in his ear, and Eiji squirmed, wanting to get away, but to no avail. Why couldn't Eiji be stronger and push him away? Why did he feel so scared of him now? He never feared Arthur before, so why now? Why couldn't he get away?

"Go out with me~" 

_What??_

Arthur nibbled on Eiji's ear and he harshly turned away, at least this much he could do. Looking away from Arthur he was feeling a lot of stuff. He was angry, upset, scared, annoyed. 

_No way in hell will I go out with someone like Arthur!_

"Get away from me," Eiji finally managed to speak out, but instead of sounding threatening, his words ended up sounding quiet, weak and scared, trembling even. Eiji sounded like a puppy who had gotten kicked, which in some ways he was.

These actions were not appreciated by Arthur. He tightened his hold on Eiji's wrist and forced his head back up Arthur. Arthur opened his mouth to say something, but his words were interrupted by someone.

"Arthur!" 

_Wait...that voice!_

Before Arthur could fully turn his face to scowl at the intruder, Ash's fist collided with his jaw. With a single hit Arthur was on the floor, holding his bloody nose. Ash kicked him hard before turning to Eiji with concern written all over his face, putting his hands on Eiji's shoulders.

"Eiji! Are you ok? What did he do to you? Did he hurt you at all?"

Eiji couldn't help but let some tears flow out. He wanted to jump into Ash's arms, he wanted to slap him, and kiss him endlessly, he wanted to do many things, but he knew he couldn't do any of those, so he stood there, with silent tears coming down from his wide eyes. 

This did nothing to help Ash's worries, however he had no time to react before a fist collided with his jaw. Eiji flinched back in fear as Ash stumbled. Eiji hated how useless he felt and was, watching as his ex lover get hurt, but he knew he would only get in the way if he were to interfere. As Ash gave back a powerful blow to put Arthur down again, tears rapidly went down Eiji's face, tears for his past lover. Eiji hated seeing Ash get hurt, even more so being so close and  _not doing anything._

_I must be a terrible person to stand around and do nothing._

As Ash recomposed himself, standing up and wiping blood from his mouth, he turned to the sound of a sob. All Ash could see was Eiji's face running with tears and a hand over his mouth before Eiji quickly got out the room and ran away. Ash only sighed, knowing there was nothing he could have done to make Eiji stay and talk... but he could make sure it never happened to Eiji again. 

"Arthur..." Ash's voice was low and threatening. Ash picked Arthur up from where he was lying on the floor coughing up blood by his shirt and slammed him against the wall. "Don't  _ever_ touch my boyf-" Ash grunted and shoved Arthur more against the wall for the smirk Arthur gave. "Don't ever touch Eiji again, or I swear I'll kill you,"

With that, Ash threw Arthur on the ground and left him lying in the nurses office, beaten up. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Eiji hated himself.

He was weak, he was useless. And why did he feel this way? Because of a stupid breakup? People broke up all the time in high school, so why did Eiji feel like it was the end of the world?

The truth was, Eiji was still in love with Ash.  _Hopelessly_ in love with Ash.

Sure, they had just broken up, and it takes time to get used to, but Eiji felt empty. He had never felt so alone. Being with Ash had filled Eiji with an irreplaceable kind of love and joy that he didn't know had existed. It almost scared Eiji how badly Ash affected him. How badly Eiji missed seeing Ash's green eyes up close, kissing his lips till they were swollen red. Combing his fingers through his hair. Simply holding him, it all hurt Eiji, knowing he'd never get to do that again. 

Who would comfort Ash when something bad happened? When he felt like the world was against him, who would be there to reassure Ash that he was never alone? Who would hold him when all he needed was a simple embrace. Who would wake up Ash during his bad dreams, or comfort him after a nightmare? Eiji feared for Ash. He knew how much Ash was touch-starved and how much he needed to be reminded of the love he had. Who would do that now that Eiji was gone?

Yet at the same time, Eiji hated Ash for going back on his promise of  _forever,_ and for leaving him so suddenly. It wasn't fair to Eiji. 

It was hard to describe what Eiji was feeling. It was something new to him. 

All there was to understand, was that Eiji loves Ash more than anyone else, and watching him get hurt tore Eiji's heart up, just as much as it was to run away from Ash rather than kissing him better and making sure he was ok. 

Eiji needed Ash, just as much as Ash needed Eiji.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next day at school, Eiji opened his locker to 10 more love notes fluttering down. 

How is it possible for so many people to even like me? Eiji thought as he bent down to pick them all up, when a pair of feet stopped in front of him and a familiar voice rang out.

"Well, someone's quiet the catch aren't they?" Eiji turned to see Yut-Lung.

Yut-lung had become one Eiji's closest friend, even though they hated each other at the beginning of freshman year, but that's all in the past now. 

Yut-lung was a difficult person to get along with. He could be mean and careless at times, but after getting to know him better, Eiji discovered that it's all a cold front, similar to what Ash does, to hide a fragile person underneath. He can also be very rude and sassy, but that was just Yue.

He had a past similar to Ash, Eiji knew this much, but just like Ash, he preferred to keep it more of a secret, so Eiji was not sure of the full story. He knew certainly however, that he was forced to do some foul things with some dirty people, and that he did not have a good family. Luckily, Yue had escaped his bad past life. Eiji knew he was starting anew, living with his adoptive father named "Blanca" (which Eiji swears has some sort of connection with Ash) in a mansion, no longer with his brothers. 

Whether he had accomplished that using...illegal ways, was beyond him, he was juts glad that his friend was free from his torturers past life, and that he was slowly getting adjusted to being a normal teenager. 

Eiji deeply wished the same for Ash.

"Yeah, I guess so, even though I'm not sure of how.."

"Yeah, I can't either," Yut-lung smirked as he threw his hair over his shoulder. "But, I could see why _I_ still manage to get little love letters every now and then."

Eiji rolled his eyes at his friends words. "Yes Yue, so could I." It was true though. Yue, despite his mean demeanor, got a lot of attention for being what is considered a, "pretty boy." Yue also preferred to dress more femininely, as he felt more comfortable in that clothing, with his long black hair in a braid, if not, it was down his back in dark waves.

"Aw Eiji you're too sweet, I almost feel bad teasing you. Almost," he smiled teasingly. Eiji only smiled as he collected all the stuff he needed and closed his locker. Just as they were leaving, a sophomore stopped them. 

He had wavy light brown hair, clear brown eyes, and fair skin that showed his strong blush even more.

Yut-lung looked away with a smirk on his face as the boy began to speak to Eiji, to try and give them more privacy, when his eyes caught something  _very interesting,_ A furious looking Lynx, looking like he wanted to murder the poor younger boy and cry at the same time. Yut-lung couldn't help the snicker that escaped his mouth. Ash was so busy staring the oblivious boy down that he didn't notice Yut-lung laughing at him. 

"You seem very sweet... but I'm afraid I'm just not ready for a relationship again just yet," Eiji smiled sympathetically at the young boy. 

"R-right, I'm sorry," the boy stuttered, clearly embarrassed and disappointed. 

"Oh please, don't apologize, its quite alright," Eiji smiled reassuringly. At the sight of Eiji's smile, the boy deeply blushed and quickly scurried off. Once he was out of sight, Eiji turned to Yut-lung and deeply sighed. "I always feel terrible turning people down."

Once he noticed Yut-lung wasnt listening to him, he huffed annoyed. Yut-lung seemed far more interested in something else, as he smirked with a knowing look and his arms crossed. Turning to his line of sight, Eiji only managed to catch a glimpse of blonde hair pushing its way through the crowd. 

_Oh no... did Ash just witness that?!_

"Please tell me Ash didn't see that happen,"

"Oh he saw  _all of it,_ the poor Lynx is terribly jealous,"

Eiji sighed again. There's no way Ash could be jealous. He cut things off with Eiji for a reason.

"Let's just get going,"

As they walked down the hall, Yut-lung had suddenly started walking...differently. Eiji didn't know how to describe it, but he knew why. 

They were approaching Sing's locker. 

"Hey Sing!" Sing turned around, and looked around before he saw them and waved. 

"Sup Eiji! Hey Yue.." Sing had grown and was not the same kid as before. He now was almost the same height as Ash and towered over Yue and Eiji.

Yue's light blush didn't go unnoticed when Sing greeted him. The way Sing looked at Yue didn't go unnoticed either. At least not by Eiji. The two were oblivious. The two quickly got into a conversation as Eiji started to slowly walk away.

Eiji would usually walk with Yue to Sing's locker so that them two would walk to their first class together, as Ash would walk Eiji to his first class. It always went that way, except Ash wasn't here anymore, so Eiji would walk alone,

"Well, I'll see you two at lunch!" Eiji called out as he started to walk away. 

"Eiji wait!" Sing called out, stopping Eiji in his tracks. Eiji turned back as Sing smiled. "Bones is having a party, and you're both invited, you two should come! It'll be fun!" 

Yeah, this was no good. A party hosted by one of Ash's gang members, who also happened to be Eiji's friend. 

Ash would most certainly be there, and Eiji currently wanted to very much avoid Ash, but if Sing was going, Yue was most definitely going, meaning he was going to drag Eiji along with him. Eiji didn't even like parties. Too much beer and weird dancing.

Plus, good things  _never_ happen at parties. 

 

 

 

 

This party could only lead to disaster. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this story is going smoothly and is interesting enough... oh whale, I'll still post it lol
> 
> I also might have a lot of errors, I lack sleep :/


	5. Parties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I hadn't posted for a while, I've been very busy, but I think you'll like this chapter ;D
> 
> Also, shout out to Jullyetta who helped motivate me to find more time for writing and such! :)
> 
> WARNING: There is underage drinking, if that bothers you

* * *

 

 

[Parties](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUXMsNvZ9To)

 

 

* * *

 

 

Ash did  _not_ want to go this party. He isn't stupid, he knows Eiji would be here, and he definitely didn't need to see Eiji get flirted with by other people. Not only that, but he wasn't feeling in the best of moods to go.

He was on edge because he had to figure out something to do with Dino. It didn't help that he felt empty without Eiji, and got crazy jealous whenever he even saw Eiji get approached by anyone else.

He had it bad, he knew this, but he couldn't help it. Eiji would always have a place in his heart. Eiji was something for Ash that he never had, and frankly didn't think he'd ever find again. Eiji was gentle, caring, understanding, funny, and so so so loving. The way he'd look at Ash and smile at him, it warmed his heart up in a way he didn't think was possible. 

He's weak for Eiji, which might be the reason he's even here, leaning against a wall in the dinner area of the house, staring holes into the tall pole vaulter talking to Eiji a room away. He had his arm up on a shelf, making him almost cover Eiji up with his body. If Eiji noticed, he didn't seem to say anything about it, and that pissed Ash off. That guy was invading Eiji's personal space! And Eiji didn't even seem concerned. 

But then the guy said something that made Eiji blush, and that crushed Ash's already fragmented heart even more. In a second Ash's mind flooded with different times he had made Eiji blush, it warmed his heart but also hurt it and he realized it was someone else making him blush now. Maybe Eiji is da-

"EHEEM," 

The large and very fake cough took Ash out of his sour thoughts. He turned to the girl in front of him.

_Oh right, I was having a conversation with this girl._

As she started scolding him for not paying attention to her, Ash looked her over. All it took was a glance at what she was wearing for him to walk away without a word. He ignored her fit as he weaved himself through the crowd to look for Shorter. He grunted annoyingly as he looked for him. Too many annoying people, too much cheap beer, and too much of Eiji with unwanted guest.

If Ash was still with Eiji, they probably wouldn't even be a this party for long. They'd come, greet friends and whatnot, but they'd leave before the party got too crazy, to one of their homes, to simply cuddle or sleep together. In the morning however, the other would have to sneak out before they were caught, and that was usually Ash.

Ash found Shorter, as he expected, mixing up a poison of drinks, combining whatever liquids he found and serving them to either, someone dumb enough to drink it, or someone that's already too drunk too think about what they were about to drink. As much as Shorter denies it, Ash is sure this is one of the main reasons Shorter loves parties.

"You got anything stronger than the cheap beer Kong got? I'm in the need of something strong right now," Ash grumbled as he glanced back at Eiji who was now talking with not one, but two girls.

Shorter smirked. "You came to the right man. But I gotta ask, why? Is it Eiji? You're not one to get drunk, at least not that easily" Shorter spoke as he stirred up a mixture of different beverages. 

Ash couldn't even help the sadness that overcame his face. He knew that Eiji had probably found someone better to give his love to by now. Besides, with all the confessions he's been receiving, there's got to be someone he likes.

"Is it that obvious?" Ash asked as he ran a hand through his hair and took Shorter's drink.

Ash brought the cup to his nose and cringed at the smell, but nonetheless chugged it as Shorter replied. "Well, you look like a kicked puppy who wants to murder whoever touched him, or, his bone? Either way, you aren't looking too hot. Go try to talk some girls and guys, there's got to be someone you like,"

Ash looked back to Eiji as his laughter rang out and sighed, slumping. "Its not like I wanted to break up with him, I love him, but it's too dangerous to love him right now with what Dino's been up to."

Shorter gaped at him. "You're telling me you broke up with him for no reason?! Dude, you realize anyone would be lucky to date him? Even I would." 

Ash gave him a pointed glare, and Shorted just put his hands up in surrender. "All I'm saying is-" Shorter flicked Ash's forehead, "you're stupid," 

Ash hissed at him and rubbed his forehead. "So like, are you planning to get back together with him after or something...?"

Ash grunted, "you don't get it, I have to get rid of Dino some how first, and then who knows if-"

Shorter put a hand on Ash's shoulder. "Ash, I understand Dino has done terrible things to you and others in the past, but he's not invincible, it's ok to ask for help. You know I always have your back, so does Max and Jessica, even Eiji. You don't have to do this by yourself." Shorter smiled and patted his back. "Now go have some fun with some girls." 

Shorter knew that Ash needed Eiji to help him through this, but he had only pushed Eiji away. Even so, he couldn't tell Ash this now, he had had enough for today, so instead he encouraged Ash to have fun tonight. He knew Ash wouldn't do anything too reckless...

Meanwhile Ash only nodded as he chugged another drink and tried to process what Shorter had just told him. Then he stood up to go have "fun."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Eiji fidgeted with the cup in his hands, then chugged all of it. He felt dizzy and hated the taste, but it helped keep his mind off of Ash, who was currently charming some girl on the sofa. Clearly, he couldn't care any less about Eiji. 

It was silly, but it hurt Eiji to see. He thought he'd at least affect Ash a little, like Ash was affecting him, but turns out Eiji was wrong. Ash seemed to be enjoying himself as he laughed along with the girl at his joke. It hurt Eiji to see, so he turned around and went to look for another drink. 

Eiji knew he shouldn't be drinking at all. Not only was he underage, and his parents thought he was at a study session, this was, (as much as Eiji was ashamed) not his first party, and he knew that with enough drinks, he'd forget the whole night. It ran in all the males of his family. They had a tendency to do embarrassing and crazy things while being drunk, only to not remember one bit of it in the morning.

Currently however, that's exactly what he wanted to do; forget. Forget Ash's laughter with others, forget Ash's kisses, forget Ash's broken promises, forget the fact that the only reason he came to this party was to see him, forget how broken he's feeling and how many tears he's cried over Ash.

Forget the fact that while Eiji's world is ending without Ash, Ash couldn't care any less about Eiji not being part of his life anymore.

Eiji hated the fact that any bitter thought of Ash brought tears to his eyes.

It shouldn't affect him this much! It shouldn't...

He found Yut-lung in the kitchen, coincidentally (not) with Sing, simply chatting. It was a good thing Yue was his ride home. Yue drank a lot, but he held his liquor well, after drinking so much regularly he got better at it, as much as it did concern Eiji with all the wine Yue drank. He was only 16 after all. 

"Hey Yue, got anything strong?" 

Yut-lung turned to him suspiciously. "You aren't one to drink, why do you ask?" 

Eiji didn't even try to hide his gloomy face. "I...I think Ash is dating somebody," Eiji said, and a tear escaped his eye. He quickly wiped it away. He hated being a crybaby, but it hurt him so much knowing that Ash could be doing the same thing he once did with Eiji but with someone else. 

Yut-lung opened his arms up, welcoming Eiji for a hug, which Eiji kindly took.

"Ah my poor little Eiji. I understand you feel upset, but trust me, that Lynx is too fucking stupid to go find someone else already. That and he's still head over heels for you my dear," Yue kindly explained, hand stroking Eiji's hair for comfort.

From beside them Sing finally spoke up. "Don't worry Eiji, Ash won't be getting over you for a long time, but you didn't hear that from me," he said as he winked and took a sip from his own drink. 

"Even so, I'll allow you to have some fun Eiji," Yue smiled, and Eiji lifted his head. Yue slid over a full bottle of... some drink Eiji didn't know of. "Drink this and you won't remember a thing, but don't you go get carried away, have a sip or two, but I don't want you doing anything you'll regret..." Eiji simply nodded as he took the whole bottle uncapping it. "Come find me when you're ready to go home K?" Eiji nodded again before leaving the kitchen. 

At this point, he just wanted to go home, but he knew Yue was probably enjoying his time with Sing right now, so he decided he'd wait a bit. Eiji drank straight from the bottle as he looked at Ash talking with a group of girls. 

_Bleh! This stuff is nasty and strong!_

Eiji went to put the cap back on, when he heard Ash's laughter ring out. Eiji couldn't help the swelling he felt in his chest. 

_Fuck this party_

Eiji didn't even notice when he had drank the whole bottle...

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Ash was laughing at the cracks he joked at the girls around him, but in reality, he was bored, and he couldn't quite keep his mind off of Eiji.

At one point, he had enough of all the fake laughter around him, and excused himself to the "restroom," but really he was planning on heading outside for a bit. He decided to go to the backyard, since most of the party was inside _._ Stepping out, he realized there was no one outside. Except for one person... because the universe just hated him. 

He decided it was best to ignore them and just stood out to enjoy the fresh air, but his head couldn't help but wonder,  _what was Eiji doing outside by himself?_

Eiji seemed to be walking towards the door to go back in, but ended up tripping, dropping something in the process that hit the grass with a soft thud, and of course Ash was right there to catch him. Although it wasn't much, Ash was already loving the feel of Eiji in his arms again, even if it wasn't very comfortable.

"Eiji! Are you ok? And why are you by yourself?" Ash couldn't help asking. However Eiji just slumped in his arms for a bit before looking up at Ash's face. He squinted his eyes, as if not being able to recognize the blonde, when suddenly his face lit up.

"Asheee!" Eiji threw his arms around Ash's neck as he tried to stand up straighter, all while beaming. His usual light accent was much stronger when he pronounced his name for some reason.

Ash on the other hand, absolutely baffled, could only blush as he got a better grip o Eiji so he wouldn't fall. "E-Eiji?!"

Eiji stopped moving and looked up at Ash, expression now gloomy and sad. "Ashe, you haven't talked to me all night..." Eiji began to rub his nose into Ash's neck, his lips brushing the sensitive skin there as he spoke. "I've missed you..."

Ash was beyond baffled. What was Eiji doing??? What was he saying?? Ash's face was quickly growing hot as he thought of what could possibly be going on. He couldn't wrap his mind around anything, except for the fact that he knew this probably meant trouble. 

But he'd also be lying if he said he didn't enjoy Eiji being all over him.

"Ashe?" Eiji looked up again at him after he didn't say anything. 

Ash racked his brain to find something to say, but with his current situation, his mind was blank. He looked away as he tried to think of something, but his many trains of thoughts were interrupted as he felt a pair of lips crash into his own, and Ash's heart flew out of his chest.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

If you had told Ash 15 minutes ago that he'd be making out with Eiji in the backyard tonight, he'd punch you for making fun of him, but here he was, kissing Eiji as if it was his last kiss. (Which it might as well be because,  _what was he even doing?!?"_ )

He knew he shouldn't be kissing Eiji. Heck, Eiji shouldn't even be kissing  _him._ But here they were.

Ash  _really_ knew he shouldn't, but the moment, Eiji's lips were on his, all thoughts were lost the the only thing his body could focus on was Eiji. There was nothing to think about, except for Eiji, and he was everywhere, his hair, his face, his neck, his chest. It was as if this was the first time exploring Ash's body. Ash's own hands started at Eiji's waist, but slowly started getting dangerously low, pressing their bodies together.

Ash parted for air, but Eiji came right back for more, and Ash couldn't really complain. He was eating up all the sounds that Eiji made. Then without a warning, Eiji's tongue forced it's way into Ash's mouth. It wasn't very Eiji like, and Ash would have opened it anyways with a little bit of a hint that that's what Eiji wanted. 

Eiji's hands began to slip under Ash's shirt and started climbing upwards, causing his shirt to rise. Ash quickly parted as he gasped for air and looked at Eiji's face, trying to see what Eiji wanted, or if its what he really wanted. However, Ash could only faintly see the blush all over Eiji's face before he made his way to Ash's neck again, this time kissing and sucking varies places on his neck.

Ash groaned as he let his head go back to give Eiji more room. His eyes fluttered shut and he could only feel Eiji, but with Eiji laying heavily on him, Ash had to take a step back to not fall, when his foot hit something with a ting. He turned his head the best he could to see what it was as Eiji devoured his neck. 

His eyes grew wide. "H-hey Eiji, did, did you have anything to drink?"

Eiji stopped what he was doing and looked at Ash's face, before giving a small nod and going towards Ash's lips again. Their lips brushed before Ash grabbed Eiji's shoulders and held him back. 

"Eiji did you, drink this?" Ash said, signaling to the bottle by their feet.

Once again, Eiji stared at it, squinting for a bit before nodding. "Yeah, it didn't taste very good though.." Eiji's eyes were fluttering shut, clearly tired.

_Oh shit._

_Well of course. why would he ever come to kiss me if he was in his right mind?_

_Shit what was I doing?!_

"Eiji, you're drunk!" 

Eiji only tiredly laughed. "Yeah sometimes,"

Ash sighed. "Eiji I need to get you home, you are in no condition to be here." Eiji said nothing as he slumped into Ash's arms, on the verge of knocking out. Ash sighed. 

He was in big trouble if anyone found out about this, and oh boy, what had he just done to Eiji...

 

* * *

 

 

Ash managed to get Eiji home even with him half asleep and drunk on his motor bike. He put Eiji on his back, since Eiji was asleep by now. Ash had no option, he had to go through the front door. He rang the bell, and not long later, Eiji's mom opened the door.

"Oh Eiji! He had said-"

Ash kindly interrupted her, telling her that he had fallen asleep during study group, and so he brought him home. He knew Eiji always told his mother he was going to a study group when going to parties. 

Although skeptic, Eiji's mother knew Ash and trusted him, allowing him to carry her son to his bed to say goodnight. Tucking Eiji into bed after taking off his shoes, he looked at Eiji smiling, brushing hair out of his face. 

"Oh Eiji, I'm sorry for what I did to you, and for letting you do that to me... I love you." Ash pressed a kiss to his forehead, before getting up to leave, when a hand grabbed his wrist. Looking back, Eiji looked at him, eyes wide as if he wasn't drunk at all. 

"Ashe, your, you're not staying?" Eiji sounded sad and it broke his heart. 

"No my love,"

"Can I at least get a goodbye kiss?" 

Ash  _really_ knew he shouldn't, but still he went closer to Eiji's bed, and leaned down, giving him a slow kiss. This one was different to the others. It wasn't rushed or filled with want, it was filled with longing, sadness, and love, everything the two couldn't say to each other. 

Their lips moved together, slow and tenderly, but before long the two had to separate for the night. 

Neither one knew what to say, so Ash slowly moved to the door, but before stepping out, he heard a quite goodbye.

"Sayonara, Ashe,"

Ash didn't look back.

"Sayonara, Eiji," 

With that Ash left his lovers room, closing the door and heading downstairs to go to his own home.

Once again, Ash was screwed, and hopelessly in love. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was quite the rollercoaster huh


	6. Yesterday Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for not updating so consistently I'm SO SORRY
> 
> I need to organize my writing and updating more :(
> 
> And since I hadn't posted in a while, I decided to post half the chapter, I'm not sure when the other will come out :[ hopefully soon

* * *

 

[Yesterday](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCV9oqtwyVA)

 

* * *

 

 

 

Eiji wakes up with a terrible headache. 

Its 7:30 in the morning on a weekend, he decides he needs a shower and quickly takes one. Heading downstairs he sees that his family is already up, being the early birds they all are. However it's oddly quiet. Eiji goes down the last steps slowly.

His mother quietly sips her tea as disappointed eyes meet his before going back to her drink. His sister eats her breakfast quietly, keeping her eyes down. 

"Good morning..." Eiji says unsure. 

His mother only sighs and sits her cup down, as his sister gets up to wash her plates. "Eiji please have a seat, we need to have a talk." 

Eiji wordlessly takes a seat across from his mother. He's in a lot of trouble, he knows that much. 

"Eiji. you are not fooling me. I know you did not go to study group last night," Eiji gulped. "It became even more clear when Ash brought you home smelling like alcohol," Eiji blushed and looked down in shame. 

"I...I'm very sorry mother," 

It looked as if his mother was struggling to find the right words to say. "I- I'm not going to yell at you, because you already know better, although it highly disappointing me, but I just wish you would talk to me more. I know that something is not right between you and Ash, I am here to listen as your mother."

Eiji's heart sunk thinking of Ash. Of course his mother would notice, who did he think he was kidding?

"Yeah, a-about that...Ash...Ash and I... we, we broke up" It was hard for Eiji to say, it was even hard to take in for himself, but he wasn't going to cry for Ash anymore.  _He wasn't!_

But he also couldnt help but think about all the times that Ash was so very sweet to him. Telling Eiji things that made him melt and really believe they were going to be together forever. All those quiet nights together, just enjoying the feeling of knowing that they belonged to each other and no one else. It was only them.

Eiji didn't even notice he was crying until his mother wiped a tear away. 

"Oh my son, I know how much Ash means to you.." 

He quickly wiped all his tears away and sat up right. "No, I've decided I wont cry over him. If this is what he wanted, then this is what he's going to get. It's not fair that I'm such a crybaby over him while he's out there," he hiccuped, " probably feeling great or whatever," Eiji sniffled and he knew he was lying. 

He knew he was Ash's rock, the only person who could help Ash and see him in his vulnerability, _so why?!_

"I see, you've made up your mind" 

Eiji really didnt want to be having this talk. He didn't even want to think about Ash, it only hurt him. 

"Can I hang out with Yut-lung today?" 

His mother, surprised at the sudden requested, thought it through. She wanted to be their for her son, but he just didnt seem to open up to her. She sighed in defeat, and nodded and Eiji got up from the table. 

She only wished her son could talk to her, she hardly felt like a mother, being helpless in her son's first heartbreak.

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey Yue,"

Yut-lung looked up from the book he was reading.

"What the hell happened to you? You look awful. Oh let me guess, you're still thinking about that jerk who dumped you for no fucking reason."

Eiji sniffled and looked away. "I want to get over him already."

Yut-lung smirked. "Ah honey you've come to the right person. I've broken up with many guys, becuase I choose the worst fucking bunch of them, but that helps me know how to get over them like, that," he says, snapping his fingers for emphasis. 

Eiji sat on the bench next to him, as Yut-lung hands him the croissant he bought him, knowing Eiji didn't have breakfast. 

Eiji quietly thanked him as he bit into it, humming at the taste of it. "So, how do I do that?"

Yut-lung looked into the distance as he spoke. "Well, I've always just flirted with other cute guys. I usually find someone to quickly hookup with, and it's a bonus if I make my ex jealous. Since it's just some one I think is attractive and I barely know them, it doesnt usually last long, but I just follow the same pattern."

Eiji took it in as he chewed quietly. Then looked at Yut-lung.

"That...sounds awful,"

Yut-lung smiled bittersweet. "I know. I'm a dumbfuck like that, but you're better than that, and just because I make bad choices doesn't mean I don't know how to help you." 

"So then, what do I do?" 

"Well, you have to find something, or  _someone,_ that will help you keep your mind of him. With so many people after you, I'm sure it won't  be hard to find someone who will treat you right and meet your requirements. Especially if that asshole was able to fit them," he muttered at the end.

"It'll help you see there's more than just Ash out there in the world for you. But before we do that, we have to go to the Chang Thai," he smirked. 

"Oh no, Yue why would we go there, you know he works there on the weekends" Eiji frowned, getting worried with whatever Yut-lung might have in mind. 

"We have to make that bastard jealous. To teach him a lesson, never break up with a catch like you."

Eiji laughed a bit. "I think you're more upset with him then I am."

Yut-lung scoffed. "Well of course I am, he crushed my best friends poor little caring heart, he gets what's coming for him." He said cracking his fingers. 

"I'm gonna teach you how to flirt so well he's gonna be itching to not murder the guy you're talking to." 

"I...don't how to flirt.."

Yut-lung turned to look at Eiji and patted his head. "That's why I'll teach you before we walk in."

Eiji was unsure of this plan, but he wanted to get over Ash, and if this was the way to do it, then so be it.

As they stood up, Eiji stopped him.

"Hey Yue...I've noticed you've been swearing a lot more than usual, is something wrong?"

Yut-lung looked downed and sadness overcame his face. "Yeah something's kind of bothering me, but right now we have a mission," and just like that his smile was back.

Eiji decided to not ask about it for now, and instead focused on how nervous he felt for what he was going to do as they walked there. 

_This can't end well._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm surprised you're still here 
> 
> I'm also sorry for the short chapter :/ the next one will be more interesting I promise ;)
> 
> You guys wanted more jealous Ash, and I shall deliver, in the next chapter:)


	7. Yesterday Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash isn't the only one jealous and Eiji is kinda lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DEEPEST APOLOGIES  
> but now that its summer I can write more :D  
> Also, I'm planning on writing a yuesing fic after this,
> 
> ALSO: I changed a few things and a few ages, since I never really clarified them, here, hope I don't upset anyone with my changes heehee
> 
> Ash - 17, junior  
> Eiji - 18, junior (was held a year back because he had to learn English a bit more)  
> Yut-Lung - 17, junior  
> Sing - 17, junior  
> Akira (yup she's here haha) - 15, freshman 
> 
> If theres mistakes sorry. Its 2am :)

* * *

 

 

"Alright my dear Eiji, this is flirting 101!" 

Eiji sighed heavily and made his slow pace even slower. Yut-lung only matched his pace as he continued to talk.

"Find someone who is decent. They don't have to be the most handsome guy you've ever, but have some decency, they can't be ugly either. You have to obviously show interest. Bite your lip a little, get close to them, run a hand through your hair, you know, the cliche stuff, still works every time."

Eiji pouted. He didn't like the sound of this, especially if it was going to hurt Ash, but he also didn't know what to do. His feelings were all over the place and he didn't what to feel anymore, whatever Yut-lung was suggestion is probably worth a try though. 

"Tease them a little. Don't lead them on enough to think they can have their way with you,  _unless that's what you want,_ and then push them away. Just give enough make Ash boil," Yut-lung said, almost excitedly. 

"Yue, I don't think this is a good idea..."

"Nonsense! Go inside and sit down, I'll order us something small," he said with a confident smirk. Eiji didn't want to be rude so he did as ordered as Yut-lung walked to the counter.

"Barely taught me anything," Eiji muttered, but still fidgeted nervously as Yut-lung called to the front counter, ringing his hands under the table. 

"Excuse me~"

From the back, pots could be heard banging, when voices rang out.

"Ash!"

"Got it!"

Then came out Ash, wiping his hands on his apron as he welcomed the customer. "Hello, and welcome to the-" Ash stopped talking as soon as his eyes met the smirking customer. Ash's eyes widened in surprise.

_If this bitch is here, that must mean that…_

Ash was right, Eiji was sitting by the front door, looking very nervous…

Yut-lungs smirking face covered Ash’s vision as he moved to block Eiji from his line of sight. Ash huffed and stuck his nose in the air as he continued with his welcome, in a more snarky way, glaring right into Yut-lung's eyes.

“What can I get for you today?” Ash practically hissed. Yut-lungs smile only grew wider.

“Hm, I don’t know, why don’t you get me two of whatever Eiji’s favorite dish is here. I’m sure you still remember what it is hm?” He said as he placed a delicate finger on his chin, tilting his head to the side for emphasis. 

Ash was basically on fire as he smashed the register keys putting in the order.

“That’ll be $16.87,” he said through clenched teeth. 

Yut-lung handed a twenty and patted Ash’s hand as he said, “keep the change.” He then made sure Ash was watching as he put sanitizer on his hands, as if Ash was contagious.  

It took everything Ash had in him to not murder Yut-lung as he strutted back to his seat with Eiji.

Yut-lung clasped his hands in front of him as he leaned forward whispering to Eiji. “Alright Eiji, see anyone you might be interested in?”

Eiji couldn’t help what came out of his mouth next. “Ash,” he said without skipping a beat.

Yut-lung slapped his forehead. “What the _fuck,_ Eiji? Anyone but him.”

Eiji shook his head avoiding eye contact. “I'm not interested in anyone else here.”

Yut-lung huffed as he looked around. His eyes settled on a young looking male with curly brown hair and freckles. He nudged his attention towards the young male. “That one.” 

Eiji took a glance, and looked back a Yut-lung shaking his head. “I can’t do it,” he said as he frowned. 

“Eiji, you have to do something about this, you can’t stay pining forever, moping around because of Ash.” 

Eiji was very certain he could totally do that, but in some ways, Yut-lung was right. He didn’t even know what he was supposed to say, but he got up and walked over anyways, tired of feeling lost in what he was feeling. 

He loved Ash, he hated Ash. He wanted to hug Ash, and shout at him for hurting him like that. He missed Ash, but also didn’t want to see him. All these mixed feeling made Eiji dizzy. 

He sat down abruptly, scaring the guy, and unintentionally getting Ash’s attention from the loud noise. 

“Can..I help you?” The stranger asked unsure of what was happening. Meanwhile Ash was staring him down like a lion scoping its prey, ready to pounce at any second. 

Eiji thought for a moment before he struck an idea. It was a good thing Yut-lung was a bit far and the restaurant was too loud for him to actually hear what Eiji was saying. Eiji leaned forward to whisper to the cute stranger. “So, this is going to sound a bit weird, but hear me out,”

This has seemed to gain the strangers attention, as he leaned forward and tilted his head, a smirk playing at his lips. “I’m all ears then,” he smiled, and Eiji couldn’t help the small blush it gave him. Yut-lung sure knew who to pick. The guy was cute.

As that thought went through Eiji’s head, he froze a bit. He felt like he was betraying Ash by seeing another guy as attractive, but he shouldn’t feel like that, they weren’t together anymore!

_ That’s right...we aren’t…. _

Eiji quickly composed himself and in a hushed tone explained the situation to the stranger, rather than trying to flirt with him. When he finished the stranger was looking at the Eiji in a way that made him squirm. 

“So basically we just have to flirt with each other a bit to make your ex jealous and satisfy your friend?”

Eiji blushed at the whole idea and glanced at others in the restaurant as he replied, “yeah pretty much, would you mind helping me out a bit? It’d be very much appreciated. By the way, my name’s Eiji, sorry for not introducing myself up until now, that wasn’t very polite of me,” Eiji knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t stop. “A-anyways, what’s you-”

Eiji was startled by the hand that was suddenly placed on his chin, forcing him to look forward again.

“Eiji~ what a cute name!” He smiled brightly and Eiji didn’t know what to do. “My name is Ben, not nearly as cute huh?” he said, and almost seemed to deflate as he said that, letting go of Eiji’s chin. “Anyways, I’d love to help! Something to excite me with. So, tell me the truth, the reason you told me this rather than actually flirting is because, hmmm, you still like your ex don’t you!?”    


Eiji was baffled. Was he really that obvious?

“Ah, y-yeah, maybe..” he stuttered, embarrassed at being that see through in his emotions. 

_ Ben  _ had the audacity to giggle. “Alright, why don’t you tell me all about him, I’ll make it look like we’re flirting meanwhile, they can’t hear us chatting right?” he said as he added a wink.

Eiji then suddenly felt very relaxed. He could talk to this person about Ash as much as he wanted, and he wouldn’t complain, because it was him who asked. Eiji smiled as he began to explain everything, from why he fell in love, to the breakup, and what he was feeling now, meanwhile Ben made sure to make it look as if they were into each other. Occasional hand touches, pushing hair behind Eiji’s hair, leaning forward, and with their knees touching under the table. 

Eiji was so lost in conversation, he didn’t notice Yut-lung being baffled by how smoothly this was coming along, as well as his sly smirk he kept hidden from Ash. It’d be cruel even for him to smirk in Ash’s face as Eiji flirted with some guy.

Meanwhile Ash was breaking, even after he thought he couldn’t break anymore. Part of him wanted to walk right up to the table and snatch Eiji, another part of him wanted to murder the guy for touching Eiji like that, and another wanted to look away from what he was seeing and break down in the tears he had been holding in forever, but he couldn’t. It was as if he was frozen.

Why was he surprised? Of course Eiji would move on quickly, to find someone better. Ash couldn’t compare. Whoever Eiji was talking to probably had a clean life, and wouldn’t drag Eiji into trouble wherever he went. This was probably for the best, and yet Ash couldn’t have that. 

It was greedy, he knew, but he needed Eiji, maybe more than anyone else. Maybe, there was still a chance….

He hadn’t even notice Sing and Akira walk in through the busy restaurant. He began to take their order when Yut-lung had noticed them. He panicked and quickly got up to get Eiji, trying to not bring attention to himself. 

He harshly interrupted Eiji, pulling him up by his arm. “Eiji, it’s time to go,”

However Eiji protested. “Hey I was having a good conversation!”

Yut-lungs eyes flickered to the cash register. Sing was chatting with Ash, but he didn’t have much time before he turned back. Sing still hadn't noticed them, or else he would have come over to chat, so Yut-lung had to  _ go. _

Eiji had followed his eyes and noticed what he was panicking about, so he got up, but not before struggling to write on a piece of paper as Yut-lung began to try and drag him away. He hastily threw the paper with his number on it to Ben, shouting, “text me!”

That had caught Ash’s attention as he quickly looked over, Sing looking back over his shoulder too. 

They had just exited the building when Sing said, “is that Yue-lung and Eiji?”

Ash was too upset and lost in thought to answer, as Shorter came out of the kitchen with two dishes of food. 

“Where’s Yut-lung and Eiji sitting at?” 

“They just left,” Sing filled in.

“Without their food?”

“Ha, that’s weird, I guess so.”

  
  


 

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ┳┻|  
> ┻┳I  
> ┳┻|_ ∧  
> ┻┳| ω⊙)  
> ┳┻|⊂ﾉ  
> ┻┳|Ｊ
> 
>  
> 
> I M S O R R Y I S H A L L T R Y T O W R I T E M O R E
> 
> For real, thank you so much for those of you who have stuck with me <3


	8. Truth Untold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah I really suck at uploading but I am a busy person, I swear im not just not writing....༼ಢ_ಢ༽
> 
> ALSO WARNING: A bit more swearing than normal...... and Dr,Phil's wanna be makes an ugly appearance for like a spilt second. Stuff will be implied next chapter, but there'll be a warning there, nothing is described in detail, but yeah, warning for the end mainly..

* * *

 

 

 

“I'm taking a break,” 

Shorter didn't even have time to respond before Ash left the restaurant to the back. 

As soon as he was outside, he used the wall for support as he leaned on it, looking up at the sky taking deep breaths. 

He knew this day would come, and yet he just couldn't accept it. Did he really think he'd still be able to get back together with Eiji? What a fool. 

Ash didn't know what part was the worst. The fact that he was blind to Eiji falling in love with someone else, the fact that Eiji didn't seem to give  _ a single shit  _ that Ash was no longer part of his life, or the fact that Eiji and that guy seemed to click. They were good together. 

Which is why Ash felt like shit for not wanting them together. Being in love with Eiji meant he should want what's best for him right? Even if that means not being with him? But no, Ash was fucking selfish. He couldn't stand watching the love of his life fall in love and be happy with someone that wasn't him. What kind of a person was he? 

Oh right, there's also  _ that _ . 

Ash laughed bitterly as he thought of the party. To think Eiji was kissing him because he wanted to be with Ash again, just as Ash wanted. He was an idiot to have let Eiji do that. Not only had that made him more regretful, but Eiji would hate him if he knew he had in some ways taken advantage of Eiji that night, even if he was the one to wake up with hickies on his neck. Hiding them was a pain in the ass but Ash couldn't help but to like them. 

It almost felt like Eiji still loved him whenever he felt or looked at them. Reminded him of the days Eiji  _ did,  _ and made him even more disappointed when he remembered it was just some stupid illusions he was making up for himself. 

How could Ash have not smelt the strong smell of liquor on Eiji? Was he really stupid enough to think he still had a chance with Eiji? 

Ash put a hand over his eyes and slid to the ground, his legs finally giving out. He smiled weakly and laughed at his own stupidity as he pretended tears weren't coming out of his eyes. 

He was  _ stupid, stupid, stupid.  _

Breaking up for no fucking reason as many had told him, thinking Eiji would still love him, not wanting Eiji to be with someone else, and for throwing away the only form of support he really felt he had. 

Yeah Max and Jessica supported him, but it was always weird with adults. Shorter and the gang were there, but they weren't a shoulder to cry on. Eiji was though, and just like anything else good in his life, he had thrown it away, let it gone to waste. 

He knew he could have lots of help with he simply asked, but he  _ just couldn't.  _ Something was holding him back from asking for help from others. 

Maybe he wasn't ready yet, maybe he felt it would hurt his pride, Ash didn't fucking know, but he did know that he was gonna end things with Dino once and for all. 

He wiped away his tears. No one was going to be there to do that for him anymore. 

Today,  _ Dino was no longer going to be part of his life,  _ he was going to make sure of that. 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Yue, please, explain to me, why,” Eiji said between gasps of breathes. “I mean I understand with Sing, a little, but to run away like that?” 

Yut-lung only blushed and couldn’t seem to meet Eiji’s eyes as he opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it again, unsure of how to explain.

They were at a nearby park, a couple blocks away, having ran all the way there, almost getting run over a couple times. After all they  _ were  _ in New York with busy streets. 

Eiji continued to speak since Yut-lung kept quiet. “I mean, ok leaving, but  _ really?  _ We had to  _ run  _ the whole way here? It’s not like they were going to chase us, they don’t-”

“I’m a dramatic bitch ok deal with it!” Yut-lung finally shouted, his face a deep red with his hands clenched at his sides. He looked like a child whining like that, but it was definitely more Yut-lung like. Eiji smiled.

“So, I’m gonna guess it has to do with Akira?”

Yut-lung harshly looked away crossing his arms, pouting. “Yeah so what if it is?” He muttered. 

“Is this what has been bothering you?” 

Eiji was surprised to see small tears forming in Yut-lung’s eyes. Eiji only patted the spot next to him on the bench as Yut-lung took a seat there, his child like acting now turning into something more serious; hurt. 

“Eiji, you asked, so get ready for one heck of a long story, or well, a very stupid one at the very least,” Yut-lung tightened his arms around himself.

“So, you probably know about my stupid crush on that idiot Sing. To be frank, I don’t even know when it happened. I just one day realized that what I wanted to have with Sing, was not something friends have, it’s a more of a, ‘what Eiji and Ash have’ sorta thing, as embarrassing as that is for me to say. When I did realize it though, I didn’t want to admit it. How could a whore like me actually have feelings?”

“Still, I talked to him, tried to get closer to him, because I’m a dumb ass who only know how to get their feelings hurt, and as stupid as I know this sounds, I thought….I thought there was a chance he liked me back...maybe just,” Yut-lung quietly laughed bitterly at the thought, as Eiji could only look at his friend in sympathy. 

Eiji had no idea Yut-lung was holding this much behind his cold exterior, and he wanted to interrupt Yut-lung at some points, like when he spoke ill of himself or when he didn’t think Sing would like him back, but he knew he had to let Yut-lung let it all out, he knew it was hard for him to share his feelings and emotions like this.

“That’s when Akira came in. I’ve never actually spoken to her, so I have no right to not like her, but goodness, I’ve never felt jealousy like this before, I hate it! Because if I feel jealous, that means that I, that I really do like Sing…” he trailed off, trying to find words as to what exactly he was feeling. “I have...no right to have Sing, I know that, but I thought I had a chance, but now, ever since he’s met her, they’re never too far apart from each other, and, I don't know, I feel stupid for even thinking someone like me would ever have such an opportunity.”

“Oh Yue... you deserve a lot more than you think,”  Yut-lung sniffled a bit, but dried up his tears, that didn’t seem to be coming out as much anymore. “You are so strong, and- well you didn’t hear this from me, but I think you stand a very good chance with Sing,” 

In truth, Eiji was only sure of the facts that Sing obviously had  _ something  _ from Yut-lung, but what Yut-lung had said was also true. They did spend a lot of time together, and Eiji couldn’t be sure if Akira did or didn't like Sing, but as long as there was  _ some  _ hope for his friend, he would encourage his friend to take that risk. 

Despite what Yut-lung thought, he gave a small smile. “Yeah, I guess you may be right Eiji, thanks. I’m going to keep things how they used to be, or at least try to. If I see that there’s a chance, I might try, but I’ve had enough about me-”

“For the first time in forever”

Yut-lung elbowed him playfully. “Let’s hear about this Ben guy,” 

Eiji gladly spoke to Yut-lung about his new friend that was helping him try to get what he really wants, which was to either get over Ash, or get back together with him, even if Yut-lung got very upset over the fact that Eiji had completely butchered his plan.      

 

* * *

 

 

 

Ash had gone into Dino’s mansion with intention to kill. 

He had had enough. No more Dino, no more bad memories, no more ruined childhoods, and one less monster in the world. Of course Ash knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he did reach Dino without having to kill to many. 

One bullet was all it would take, because as much as Dino is a monster, he is still human, and humans are easy to kill.

But in that moment Ash had faltered. He had frozen there, pointing the gun at him. 

Even after trying to say that Eiji no longer affected him and that there was nothing between them and that Dino now had no leverage against him, Dino had still managed to hit his weak spot, his Achilles heel, the one he didn’t even know he had. He had backed Ash up into a corner like a scared puppy.

Ash had sworn that Dino would  _ never  _ lay a hand on him again, but in that moment he was  _ so scared  _ that, he couldn’t move. It was as if he was a kid again, too terrified to try and resist in fear of what would happen if he did. 

  
  
  


In the end he got the job done, but he felt  _ sick.  _

 

He felt used again, he knew he was. He could barely walk, barely see, all he knew was that he needed someone.

  
  


 

 

 

He needed Eiji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that last part makes sense, if not, feel free to ask
> 
> This fic is nearing the end, and I gotta say, next chapter is gonna be r o u g h , v e r y r o u g h  
> ((；ﾟェﾟ；))


	9. Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's rough not gonna lie, but I also sort of make up for that (´∀｀；) its also a longer chapter! By like, 2,000 words :)
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: MENTIONS of rape and like, Ash's past, which if you watched bananafish is really nothing new but please be careful ya'll, but its NOT descriptive, cause I don't like it BUT there is some very hurt Ash... so always, be cautious idk

* * *

 

 

"Ash? Ash! Where were you? We were so worried!" 

That’s the first thing Max and Jessica shout at him when he enters the house. The living room lamp is on, which means they were up waiting for him. It only takes one look at his bloody and disheveled clothes and his shaken up expression to know something was _horribly_ wrong. 

Max was there just in time to catch him once Ash’s knees gave out. Max held him tighter once he felt how much he was shaking. However Ash needed steady ground so Max gently slide down to the floor with him as Jessica went over to Ash’s other side, gently rubbing his shoulder. 

They knew they couldn’t bombard him with questions, but Ash’s labored breaths were scaring them. Although they had a good idea of what could’ve happened, the mere thought of it sickened them to their stomach. They hated the thought of Ash, _their son_ , going through _that_ again. They felt as if they had failed him, but this wasn’t about what they felt, it was about Ash.

“Ash honey, speak to us,” Jessica pleaded softly.

Ash’s labored breaths became sobs as he clenched his shirt, his eyes wide with fear even as they flowed with tears. He wasn’t one to let adults comfort him, but right now, he had never felt more scared and dirty, he needed some sort of support. 

“I-” he choked on his words. “You- you aren't gonna b-be very happy with me,” his voice was shaking and barely above a whisper even as tears continued to stroll down his face. 

Jessica and Max remained silent, a sign for Ash to continue, just wanting to hear what happened.

“I, took Dino out, and...half his men,” Ash took in a big breath and let out a sob. It wasn't until then that he realized there were more people at risk than him for his stupid actions. “They’ll probably be coming here soon...I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He shouted out in frustration as he pulled furiously at his hair, shoving himself out of Max’s arms and away from both of them. On his knees he let his forehead hit against the floor. 

“Ash please!”

“They’ll get Micheal, and you both too, please go, run! Please! I’m sorry!” He sobbed as he ignored their calls for him. 

_It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault._

Images of Micheal, Max, and Jessica dead on the floor flashed through his mind and suddenly he couldn’t hear. Someone was screaming in his ear and he hit his head, trying to get the loud noise to stop, squeezing his eyes shut. Was it Michael screaming?? His throat began to hurt, and that’s when he realized he was the one screaming. 

_It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault._

His head was beginning to hurt from hitting it so hard and all the crying when suddenly two strong hands stopped his arms from moving. His vision was blurry with tears, but looking up he saw it was Jessica, looking at him with a stern face. His sobs quieted down

“Ash, I love you, but you need to get yourself together. Acting like this is going to get you nowhere. If you really want to fix things, then tell us; What happened? We can take it, but if you can’t, take some deep breaths. We want to help you, you are not alone.”

In the moment Ash’s eyes cleared up and he understood. 

There were people who could help him, and expect nothing in return. There were people who were willing to hold him through his tears. There were people that he could trust. 

There were more people like Eiji.

And those people were his family. 

His erratic state had calmed down as he took a deep breath, slumping his shoulders down, not being able to meet Jessica’s eyes. “He-he,” fear was beginning to enter his body again and everything hurt, he felt dirty inside out. He began scratching at his skin hard enough to leave red marks wherever his nails trailed as he searched for words. “That-he, m-my bod-” he couldn’t speak, only scratch more at his skin in an attempt to clean himself.

Once again Jessica’s hands stopped his own. She didn’t say anything, and he didn’t look up. He didn't want to admit it, cause if he did it would mean it was true, and that it did happen, but he knew he didn't have a choice. “He raped me, even after I promised myself he wouldn’t touch me again,” his voice was barely a whisper as his eyes widened, surprised at himself for admitting it so straightforward like that.

There was a quite, “oh Ash,” but nothing else. It was quiet, the truth and reality of it all shocking everyone. This was their life. Gangs, violence and drugs. The world of normal school boys and a normal family was merely a fantasy. 

“Ash…? What are you guys doing on the floor?” Micheal came into the room, rubbing the tiredness from out his eyes, dragging his stuffed bear with him. Seeing Micheal they were all brought back into reality.

Jessica and Max locked eyes, already knowing what had to be done. Jessica picked up Micheal and Ash followed dazed. Jessica rushed them to the car as Max got their shotgun and made phone calls. 

“Ash, I don't want you to worry about anything else alright? Max and I have got this, we will get rid of them, after tonight, we will never have to be involved in anything like ever again, you hear me?”

Ash couldn't believe it. Could it really be that easy? No, there's no way...right? Either way, he trusted his foster parents, and gave a small nod. Jessica only sighed as he gave both Micheal and Ash a kiss on the forehead before quickly driving away from the house and driving to Shorter’s as she too made a phone call. 

 

* * *

 

 

Arriving at the Wong’s residence, Ash was exhausted and on the verge of passing out. He couldn’t see or think straight, he didn't even remember when he got out of the car, before he knew it, he was in a bed with sitting Nadia next to him. 

“You can relax now, the others are handling the situation, get some rest.” She whispered as if trying to maintain the silence of the room. Ash however couldn’t remember anything else because he had passed out from exhaustion.

-

Ash woke up with a gasp and a cold sweat. 

He had to go save everyone! How could he even think of slacking off? What if everyone was hurt or in danger? What time is it? Where could they be? He felt dizzy from getting up so quickly, but still tried getting to the door. However before he could get out, Nadia stopped him at the bedroom door. 

“Nadia, I...I have to go, where are they?” 

“Shh,” Nadia shushed him with a stern face. “You’re practically shouting. It’s seven o’ clock. Everyone got back just about an hour and a half ago, very tired. Don’t worry they took care of what only they could, Charlie and the police are and have taken care of the rest, now go back to bed. Shorter will explain more in the morning,"

Although they had said they had everything under control, it seemed too easy, Ash couldn’t believe it. Maybe he’d never be able to. No matter what, he couldn’t rest easy. 

“I’m not tired,” he muttered, but Nadia stayed put. “I wanna take a shower,” with that Nadia let him pass without another word and went downstairs to make breakfast. 

In the shower, Ash scrubbed hard and kept thinking of how it might be possible he was really free. In the end, he decided to not think about it at all. He had to start trusting those he held close. He also just wanted it to be over. How many times he had wished that, and now it might actually be true.

Later he found out that Max, Shorter, and his gang had finished of Dino’s men, as for the rest of the affairs, charlie was dealing with. Max’s house was only damaged with a few bullet hits, but otherwise was fine, so they’d be going back home soon. 

In the end, the whole day consisted of all of them just hanging out together and watching movies. It was the first time Ash felt like he was really in a family. It also helped to forget about reality, or what was of it, as well as what had happened. He felt comfortable on the couch with Micheal wrapped up in a blanket, eating junk food and watching movies with everyone else. He wished for Griffin to have been able to be here too, but in all, it was perfect. Almost perfect.

Almost. There was one person missing, but luckily Ash would be able to see them tomorrow. That’s when Ash remembered something. Well two things. 

One, the person he wanted to see, did not care about him anymore, and had probably moved on already. Ash pouted. He was feeling very hopeful today, maybe even, relieved in a way. He couldn’t explain what he was feeling, but he wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, he still had a chance with Eiji. He’d have to try. After all, this whole “Dino ordeal,” _was_ over. Ash’s heart warmed at the thought being with Eiji again.

Right, second of all. “What happened with Arthur?” Ash asked over the movie playing. 

“He  got lucky cause he ain’t dead,” Shorter filled in. “Bastard didn’t even show up. He might be at school tomorrow,” Ash could swear he heard Shorter mutter something about ‘beating the crap out of him,’ but didn’t say anything more. 

“Oh right about that,” Jessica spoke up, “you don’t have to go tomorrow. As a matter of fact I would prefer you not too.”

Ash would usually love any chance at escaping school, but...he really wanted to see Eiji. Was that bad?

“No it’s fine, I’ll go,”

“But Ash, are you sure? It’s not really the best idea, you aren’t in the best conditi-”

“I never have been, it’s fine. I’ll call you if I don’t feel good or whatever.”

Jessica frowned but agreed to it nonetheless. 

Ash was gonna start a new life. For real this time. 

Hopefully he could get Eiji in this one too.

 

 

* * *

  


School was a pain in the ass. Ash was almost starting to have second thoughts on coming. _Almost._  

Seeing Eiji around the halls made Ash’s heart flutter. Ash loved and hated it. He hated the fact that he was like a schoolgirl with a silly crush, but he loved the fact that he still had love for Eiji, because that meant that Dino hadn’t broken him completely. 

He could still love. But whether he deserved love from Eiji was a whole ‘nother problem.

The morning had been fine, thankfully, but things started going downhill. It started during Ash’s 4th class, of course one of the few he shared with Eiji. English class, a fucking bore with the teacher making them have silent reading time. Ash’s mind however, decided to wander elsewhere. 

It started with thoughts of Eiji, since his little crush on his ex-boyfriend was only growing. From different times spent together with Eiji to small kisses and secret nights they had stayed together in each others arms. It then lead Ash’s mind to times Eiji played with Micheal and how happy they seemed, giving Ash thoughts of what it would be to have a family of his own.They then switched to just Micheal and how innocent the young boy was. That then turned to the cruel reality Micheal was unaware of, before the same images of seeing his family dead flashed through his head again, reminding him that it was his fault. Then it switched to him, and all he went through and had to endure. From Marvin, Dino, and countless business men and-

Ash wanted to throw up. It was all coming back to him. _Why now? Why now? Why now?_ It wasn’t until the teacher called out his name in concern that he noticed he was hyperventilating. 

“Do you need to go to the nur-”

Before the teacher could even finish her sentence Ash was on his feet and out the classroom door into the hallway. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he had to go. 

  
-

 

Eiji bolted out the door before the shock could settle with anyone. Eiji knew that Ash had trouble sometimes, but this seemed very serious, especially since he was never one to make his problems a big deal. As a matter of fact, he always tried to hide his problems from everyone, even Eiji sometimes, so for him to make a scene like that was extremely concerning for Eiji. 

Eiji wasn’t sure of where Ash went, but he followed the sound of heavy footsteps and frantic breathing. Eventually they slowed down, so Eiji did too, as to not scare Ash away, because it didn’t seem Ash knew Eiji had followed him. 

Ash had gone to the back of the school, the hallway that no one ever really used because there were barely any classes there, just the pool and another gym, both which were unused at the time. Even in a state of panic Ash knew how to protect himself and hide away. Of course he did.

Slowly peeking around the corner, he saw Ash, and his heart broke. Ash was curled up against the wall on the floor by the entrance to an empty classroom, giving himself smaller room. He was crying, and Eiji could practically feel the pain that came from the sobs and shaking. 

Slowly, Eiji made his presence known, showing himself and stepping in front of Ash. Ash looked up and didn’t even try to hide his surprise of seeing Eiji there with tears streaming down his face. Eiji said nothing, because times like these don't need words, and dropped down in front of Ash, before delicately wrapping his arms around Ash’s shoulders, pulling him in only close enough for Ash to push him away if he wanted to. But when Ash gripped the front of his sweater pulling him close, and hiding his face in Eiji’s shoulder as he let out one final sob, Eiji knew it was ok to tightly hold Ash close to him as if the world was ending. 

Eiji stroked his hair and tried to cover Ash as much as he could with his baggy sweater, knowing that at times like these Ash liked to be hidden from the world. Ash’s crying slowly quieted and his shaking stopped, helping Eiji’s heart relax a little more. Although sitting on the floor, they felt comfortable. It was a good thing Eiji chose to wear his baggy hoodie today, as it helped to be a cushion with how big it was.

Eventually, there were no more tears or heavy breathing, it was just them, wrapped up in eachothers arms on the dirty floor of an empty school hallway in comforting silence.

“Eiji,” Ash’s raspy voice broke the silence. There were so many things Ash wanted to tell him, but he couldn’t settle on any words. He knew what he wanted, but he was unsure of how to get it. In the end he just decided to tell Eiji about what had happened, which at the news Eiji had tightened his arms even more so before pulling away only enough to look at Ash’s face with joy at hearing that Ash was free.

Eiji had always wished the best for Ash, and now both he and Yut-lung no longer had to deal with the cruel lives they once had. It was a new chapter for Ash. The pain wouldn’t be completely gone, no of course not, there would always be pain in Ash’s past now, but that didn't mean that his future couldn’t be full of love. 

Eiji hugged Ash tight once more pressing the side of his face against Ash’s, as he whispered in Ash’s ear, “I’m so happy for you Aslan,” 

Hearing that made a few tars slip past Ash’s eyes, but these were of happiness.

It took everything within Eiji to not kiss Ash in this very moment. He wanted to cover him in kisses with how happy he was for Ash. It seemed a little crazy and almost impossible for everything to be settled with in one night, but Eiji had hope. He wanted this for Ash so badly that he refused to doubt Ash’s breakthrough. 

“Eiji I-” Ash started again but faltered at his words. Eiji pulled back enough so he could see Ash’s face and meet his eyes. 

“Yes Ash?”

“...”

Seeing as Ash was struggling, Eiji simply smiled and broke the silence for him.

“Let’s call Max to pick you up hm?”

Ash pouted but agreed anyway. 

The bell wrung and oops they had both sorta ditched class. Eiji went outside to the back of the school with Ash to wait for him to get picked up, they didn't feel like going through all the trouble of trying to get out from the main office, so they just sorta ditched school. Eiji wasn't leaving with him, but he wasn’t going back to school for the day either, cause it turns out Eiji has a sorta of troublemaker side that rubbed off on him from his time with Ash. As they were waiting, Ash just decided to go for it.

“Eiji, I...I never stopped loving you,” 

At this Eiji froze. It couldn't be could it? Was it possible Ash still felt the same? What would happen then?

“I understand though, that there are others after you as well, so I will try my best to make you fall in love with me once more,”

Wait… what? 

Just because others liked Eiji didn’t mean that he didn’t love Ash anymore, and Ash hadn’t even asked him is that was the case, he just assumed. It was amusing in a way, as well as romantic that Ash was going to make Eiji fall in love with him again. Silly Ash, he didn’t even know that he had already accomplished that. 

“Is that...ok, with you?”

Eiji smiled warmly as his he felt as if his heart was slowly piecing itself together again. 

“More than,” 

As if on cue, Max arrived. As Eiji waved goodbye to Ash, he was feeling quite excited for the days to come.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I don't understand life anymore I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I guess I never really did I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I promise to have a better writing schedule next time always value your life, please I promise to have a better writing schedule next time stay positive I promise to have a better writing schedule next time I promise-


	10. Recovery comes with lots of love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, I had lost motivation for quite a while, but this fic is almost finished, so I'll try real hard to get it done.  
> Im so sorry this fic is so bumpy and sorta went downhill ( 〃．．) I had planned it out better in my head  
> To those of you who have stuck with me and waited and encouraged me with your lovely comments, I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH!! (⺣◡⺣)♡* ⊂(･ω･*⊂)  
> Like i always say it, but they for real make my day when I see them <3<3<3  
> Anyways, here we goooo

* * *

 

 

 

The last week had been exhausting for Ash. 

After dealing with all the Dino shit, he had to go through many medical checkups, as well as having to go to daily therapy sessions. To be fair, he had been feeling better, but it was still a lot of work.

He didn’t think it could be completely over, but Charlie had been helping them a lot, making sure the violence side of it was being taken care of and helping Ash stay clear of trouble that others wanted to bring to him. Charlie said that with time of a clean profile and lying low, he could clean Ash’s record, make it seem as if he was never involved with anything he shouldn’t have. He’s been doing home school, not being allowed to do anything that would bring a lot of attention. 

Meanwhile Max and Jessica help with his appointments and healing, both mentally and physically. Although they should have taken care of it as soon as it happened, Ash turned out to be ok. The few things he had were quickly fixed medically. His body was healing slowly.

When it comes to healing mentally however, it’s a bit harder, but that’s where everyone else comes into play. His family always helps him. His friends too. Hanging out with Shorter and Alex and the rest was fun, and always made him forget the negative stuff. Michael would always make him feel like a big brother when playing with him, and made him feel happy and warm. Hanging out with the people he loved helped him heal in ways he couldn't explain. 

Then there was Eiji. 

Eiji helped him in ways he could never thank him enough for. After admitting to him that he was still stupidly in love with him, they had begun to hang out again. The love they had was still there, as if nothing had ever happened, yet both were scared to act on it.

Eiji didn't want to rush things with Ash. He knew what he had just gone through and didn't think physical affection was the best thing to give at the moment, but Eiji was still always there when Ash had a breakdown or when he needed someone to lean on. He still gave him hugs, but nothing more than that. Although he loved Ash, he never said it out loud, just reassuring Ash, saying stuff like he'll never leave his side, that he was always there for him, and that he was ok now. It was the only thing he could do. 

Ash on the other hand, didn't think Eiji still liked him. At least not the way Ash wanted Eiji to like him. However he wasn't complaining with all the attention he was getting from Eiji. It felt like the old times when Eiji only had eyes for him, he felt loved.

And he was. By many people, not just Eiji. He saw that now. It was one of the best feelings in the world Ash thought. 

He knew he wanted Eiji again, but he realized Eiji probably wouldn't let him make a move at all if he tried right now. Eiji was a strong believer in him fixing his health before getting into any relationships or anything of the sort, so Ash decided that once he was sure he was feeling better, he’d try again. No matter how long it’d take, because Ash had finally learned to take care of himself, and was getting better at asking for help. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to give Eiji the love he deserves if Ash wasn’t even loving himself.

It was gonna be a while for him to heal. He just hoped Eiji would wait for him.

 

 

 

 

 

**-Five months later-**

 

 

 

“Ash wake up! You’re gonna be late!”

Ash paid no attention to Jessica screaming downstairs. He stayed up late last night doing homework and talking to Eiji through the phon-

“Weren’t you picking up Eiji today?”

_ Shit. _

Ash bolted out of bed and rushed to get ready while taking a bagel on the go for later. How could he forget Eiji was waiting to be picked up to go to school today? Especially after how much Ash insisted Eiji let him give him a ride to school. 

Recently, life had been like a dream for Ash. It was filled with love from his family and friends, and the only stuff he had to worry about was school work. He was also really close with Eiji again, borderline flirting at times, but still only  _ just friends.  _ However, lately, Ash had been feeling better than ever before. His health, mentally and physically, were doing good, and he even felt better with himself, which meant it was time. 

Today was the day he would ask Eiji out on a date. 

It got his heart pumping and he hoped Eiji couldn’t feel it through his jacket on the way to school. 

School was the same as before. Ash and Eiji would walk to classes together, (minus the hand holding on kisses, sadly) occasionally walking with Yut-lung, Shorter or anyone from the gang, depending on which classes they had together, and they’d all sit together at lunch. There had been, however, one new addition, one most still had to get used to, and that was Sing. 

Sing they were used to. What they were not used to however, was  _ Yut-lung  _ and Sing. The two had gotten together about three months prior to this. It seemed everyone but Ash had seen it coming. Well, Ash and Yut-lung himself. As it was, Yut-lung had thought Sing had a thing for Akira, seeing as they were always together, until Sing confessed to him, and things quickly escalated from there. Ash however was not sure if the relationship made Yut-lung more or less of a bitch.  _ Seriously, how could Sing stand him? _

Still, he had to be thankful, since he had actually been seeking advice from Yut-lung to ask Eiji out on a date. Although being quite annoyed with Ash, Yut-lung still helped him with romantic ideas and places to go to, however, he left the asking part all up to Ash. Yut-lung insisted that when it came to Eiji, Ash knew best, but Ash just didn't have that type of confidence in himself,  _yet._

 

Eventually the end of the day came around, and Ash was giving Eiji a ride home after his pole vaulting practice. Usually he’d watch Eiji fly like the angel he was, but today he had been repeating his lines in his head over and over. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself when he asked Eiji out. 

Just thinking about it once again made his heart beat so much he was afraid it might jump out his chest. Eiji leaning his head on his back as he wrapped his arms around Ash on the ride back did absolutely nothing to help. At this point, Ash was sure Eiji could feel it thumping against his ribcage.

“Thank you for the ride Ash,” Eiji said with the softest smile once he got off the motorcycle and took the helmet off. Ash had never wanted to run his hands through Eiji’s hair more, it was so curly and messy from the helmet. Ash misses the soft feeling of it going through his fingers, and Eiji’s own fingers going through  _ his  _ hair. Oh how that-

“Um, here’s the helmet,” Eiji said as he awkwardly held it in front of Ash to take after Ash just kept staring at him for 30 infinte seconds. 

Ash blushed and quickly took the helmet. “Y-yeah no problem Eiji! Here I’ll walk you to the door.”

Eiji blushed lightly and walked alongside Ash to the short walk to his front door. “I’ve always loved riding your motorcycle. It’s a whole nother sense of freedom,” Eiji smiled dreamily at the sky. 

“Glad you enjoy them as much as I love giving them,” Ash said with a wink, and  _ oh boy success, _ Eiji blushed at the wink and moved hair behind his hair, a good sign Ash thought. “Uh, Eiji, there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask…”

Eiji looked at him with what could be called hope in his eyes. “Yes Ash?”

Goodness Eiji was killing him. “Wo-would… well, we’ve-hmph, you see-” Eiji giggled at his stuttering and Ash said fuck it. 

“Eiji, would you like to go out with me this Saturday?”

Ash swears Eiji’s eyes lit up like the night sky. He was at a loss for words, opening and closing his mouth, before smiling widely and saying, “I’d love nothing more Ash,”

In that moment, with the setting sun and Eiji’s soft face in its glow, Ash wanted to kiss Eiji,  _ so much, a _ nd  _ oh my gosh he just said yes!  _ Ash was so happy, he just let out a small laugh of relief. 

“Well, I’ll see you this Saturday then, pick me up at 6” Eiji said with a wink, turning to the door, trying to hide his cherry red face at the bold move he had just pulled. Ash was just in aw, standing there, staring at the neighbors house with a stupid grin on his face, trying to process what he just heard and saw from  _ Eiji.  _

Just then Eiji swiftly turned around and quickly went on his toes to give Ash a kiss on the cheek before hurriedly going inside. Ash just stood there, slowly bringing a hand up to where Eiji’s lips had just been, trying to process everything. 

_ He had a date with Eiji this Saturday at 6! _

Ash couldn’t help skipping back to his motorcycle and driving just a bit to fast home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (・・；)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed and thanks bunches for reading! <3<3<3


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